Tag Archives: Dragon

A Secret Vessel in the Heart of London

What a great name for some good old-fashioned click-bait. Do not despair however, for where there is a great statement, there also lies great substance. Allow me to take you by the hand and guide you right onto the doorstep of one of London’s hidden gems. For some reason ‘I’m walking in the air’ from The Snowman just started playing in my head. Regardless, let us plough on, you red-haired pyjama wearing cartoon boy.

Using the term ‘secret vessel’ or ‘hidden gem’ may be a bit of a stretch considering how I found it after merely a few minutes on Google, but to the untrained eyes of the masses, this ‘gem’ would definitely seem wholly unremarkable at first glance, to say the least.

So if you happen to be wondering in or around Soho; loitering past the many cafe’s, restaurants, theatres and sex shops, you’ll most likely waltz straight past the very thing of which I am speaking of today. What a grave mistake that would be. Your life will continue, surely, but it will be a much emptier life; full of hardship, sorrow and longing. In order to avoid such a mishap, please heed my instructions.

Whenever you find yourself not-too-far from Leicester Square and heading down Brewer Street, you will eventually come across a lovely little shop by the name of ‘Simply pleasure.com’. Before you become overly excited by these instructions however, you must exert a certain amount of willpower, avert your gaze, look directly across the road, and feast your eyes on this mother-of-all-beauties instead.

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When you awoke this morning I bet you never, in your wildest imaginations, expected to gaze upon sight such as this. Even the bags of trash take nothing away from this unknown, shrouded utopia. A majestic shop-face possessing such radiance to rival the very halls of Valhalla themselves!

And such words, such beautiful words: ‘De-luxe Cleaning.’ Surely this is no language invented by man. But what could it possibly mean???

If you are currently feeling underwhelmed, cheated, betrayed and at a loss for words, then you are well within your rights to do so. But if you stay with me for just a short while longer, you will see that things are not always what they seem.

To those individuals, however, who think of the dry cleaners and immediately liken them to slices of heaven on Earth, I apologise. You have been utterly deceived! For this is not a dry cleaners at all. This is indeed something much more sinister, taking refuge within the busy streets of London, masquerading as your innocent, every day, laundry depot.  

As you enter this dry cleaners with your arms equipped with bags of dirty clothes, you should expect these bags to drop (along with your jaw) as you stare into the face of Japan. Inside you will find shelves and shelves (and even more shelves) stocked full of Japanese books, manga volumes and possibly even DVD’s, amongst anything else I may have missed. As there are no pictures allowed inside the building, and because I’m a straight-up law abiding citizen (shocker, right?), you’ll just have to take my word for it.

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Now do you believe me??

If the shelves and shelves of manga volumes weren’t enough for you, the place is also somewhat famous for its Karaoke round the back. Though I haven’t actually done karaoke there, the reviews on Google all seem very positive.

For a manga-loving semi-geek such as myself, this was of course the equivalent to a 3 day weekend of sun, sea and A&E in the mystical land of ‘Zante.’ I must add that there was only one downer, and that was the fact that the majority of the stock was completely Japanese, with only a few shelves dedicated to manga volumes in English. Seeing as though it is a Japanese place however, I can’t really complain too much.

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Not much of a haul I must admit...

So there you go. A hidden gem right in the heart of London. Do make sure to go there yourself and let me know what you think. Alternatively if you’ve been before or if you know of any other such ‘hidden’ places in London, or anywhere, do let me know.

Hopefully you found an ounce of enjoyment in this post, but for now, in the undying words of Anne Robinson:

Goodbye! *wink*

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The Mother Of All Procrastinators

I don’t know how I always end up here! It’s 2 am, pitch black, and I’m just sat here typing away on Google Keep. Actually… In case my dad reads this (he says he doesn’t but I’m not ready to believe that just yet) it’s actually 4 pm and I’m writing this in a well earned revision break! …….. Yeah that’ll do.

Anywho. Seeing as though I haven’t got a whole lot going on in my life apart from some hard-core procrastination
– Note to self, Procrastination could be a great band name
Another Note to self…… Make a band.
Why don’t I tell you all about the greatest piece of procrastination that has EVER. EXISTED!!!!!!

ARE YOU EXCITED!?!?!?!
ARE YOU WITH ME?????
ARE YOU SCREAMING THESE WORDS INSIDE YOUR HEAD???? If so please get yourself checked out. These aren’t good signs my friend.

What I am rambling about.. Is a game. But not just any old PlayStation or Xbox game. PSSSHT oh hell naw. I’m talking about the kind of game where you literally spend yeaaaaars of your life, your golden years, locked inside the darkest shadows of the most isolated corner of your house… Sapped of all emotion, vigorously clicking away on the only object left which feels ‘right’ in your hands………………… The mouse.

A sick, twisted, time consumingly WONDERFUL ga-
No. I don’t even think I can call it a game. For, as long as it is in your life, it becomes just that. Life. 

If you know me, or if you too have become a victim to this most leisurely of all leisures, then you will be aware of what I am speaking of. In fact I can see you now.. Nodding away in slow motion with your eyes closed, swaying your head in the guiltiest of fashions …… Jeez put some pants on while you read at least! And close your curtains!!  What with the nosy neighbours and all …

Without further adew: Runescape.

Just seeing it, written there, oh how it brings back memories.

I remember the long summer’s of the 2000s. The sun smiling down on everything in it’s wake. Kids running through the streets, a mixture of laughter and football’s flying through the air. Ice cream men showing up just in the nick of time to serve up happiness. I remember the whole lot; jumpers for goalposts, football’s stuck under cars and the last minute goals that put you on the map! But most of all ….. Most of all! I remember the double glazed and surprisingly spotless window pane that separated me from all that hustle and bustle as I sold my last batch of steel bars for the day.

I miss the summers…

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Nothing quite beats gazing into a pixelated World lost in cyberspace.....

If you don’t know what Runescape is….. Get out. I joke (please stay). Baaaasically it is a huge online world where you create a player, think of the coolest username you can..
Footymagic – XxGangstaMageKillaxX was taken *sigh*
Go through the most boring tutorial known to man and then after all that… You do whatever the hell you want bebbeh!!! Except that! Naughty.

Now of course, being a game, there were some rather cool features to this secret online life of yours. You had the chance to practise magic, try a hand at archery, craft amulets and other goods, slay dragons and many more!

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Sitting here... As you do ...

But I didn’t have time for all that Dragon slaying nonsense! I had other plans, and since apparently my ultimate goal in life was to be a child in the early to mid 1800‘s, mining rocks seemed a much more fitting activity, albeit electronically. I used to spend HOURS….. sat in front of a computer screen with my jaw touching the floor. Drool galore. And I used to click. On a rock.  Every day. Without fail.
For 400 years.

And if I wasn’t clicking on a rock I’d spend my nights calculating how many rocks I’d click on the next day and how much gp (the currency) that would amount to. 

It got so bad that I distinctively remember one night walking into my brother’s room. Eyes aglow, just after they had introduced the grand exchange and all I remember saying to him, in all seriousness, was:
‘I’m going to manipulate the trade market.’ Followed by a well rehearsed speech about the fluctuations in various stocks and other non-household goods.

Oh I could go on and on but I’m pretty sure that half of you that started reading this haven’t actually got this far (is half being optimistic?). So therefore I’m just going to end with a few quotes that you’d usually see in a typical ‘scapin session:

Flash2:wave: Rune scimi 32k!!!

Flash:scroll: Steel bars 250 ea.

Ur dadz a n00b stp followin me

Less sort dis beef in da wildie u punk ***

Special treat press Alt + f4 to get free 1mil

If u type ur password in it comes up starred! Look *********** !!!!!!!

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Thanks for reading! If you liked the post and want to hear more of what I’ve got to say…. Then give me money. Srsly…. I need food.
Orrrrrr just follow away and don’t forget to share the site on the Twittergram or the Facebooks or whatever you crazy kids are using these days. Ahhhhh Bebo… That’s the one!

Oh and comment!!! …. Peace!

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