So…. We’re already two days into 2k15 (whoop!). The years are really flying by now! I mean, it’s hard to imagine that in just… 985 year’s.. Nothing much will have changed except they’ll live underwater.
To answer your burning suspicions…..No, I didn’t just make those lyrics up. And Yes, you have just caught me……… Busted.
Apparently 2015 is also the year Marty visits in Back to the Future part 2. Not that I remember much of the movie, but that actually saddens me, right down to my Apple seeded core, as the only part of the film I do remember were the hoverboards…. Hoverboards!!! Why isn’t that a thing yet? Back to the Future had it, The Jetson’s had it, The Flinstones were close….. I’m sure we should be there by now, it’s Two Thousand and Fifteen for crying out quiet !! (It’s 2 am)
Between me and you.. The closest I’ve ever came to a hoverboard was an eventful afternoon in Year 9, all those decade ago…. Fuel your imagination tanks and allow your mind to visualise a strapping young Indian lad, in the prime of his youth. The looks of Brad Pitt coupled with the voice of Mariah Carey (puberty was not privy to this story as of yet)… And don’t forget the glasses of course. That…. Was yours truly. The Big Cahoona.
Now picture this young man fleeing for his life from his 14 year old 6 foot 7 Nigerian friend, who’s only intention that lunch time was to slap his giant of a hand on your, admittedly spherical, head.. While he utters the most diabolic of phrases:
‘Heavy rain drop.’
Imagine our hero as he runs for the sheer safety of his brain cells. He lunges through the doors of the library, paying no heed to the ‘No Lunging’ sign. Almost out of breath, he turns the corner, only to be faced with the most perilous of sights. A staircase. Running the first 6 with his captor gaining on him every step of the way, he sees no alternative other than to leap the remainder.
Surviving the jump, all seems well until he turns his immaculate, ball of a head round to his next task. A second flight.
With no time to spare he simply carries on, haphazardly placing each foot infront of the next, all the while cursing the school’s darned architecture. Though his peripheral vision isn’t the strongest, it doesn’t take much to suddenly notice…. The raising of the hand.
The clouds have burst. Terrential downpour is forecast.
Without pausing to think, a good 10 steps remain, his future is uncertain yet he leaves everything to luck as he throws his little legs into the air.
The rest of the story is pretty self explanatory to be honest. I flew. For about 6 steps… I flew. As soon as the freedom bells in my head started ringing however, gravity brought me crashing right back down to Earth, with my foot landing on the most peculiar of objects….
A random little biscuit neatly placed on the second step.
According to eye witnesses (who weren’t even there!!) My foot landed on the biscuit and together, as if transported into an alternate cartoon reality, we (me and the biscuit) were propelled about 50 feet in the air before coming crashing down to our untimely demise.
And that, ladies and gentlefish, is a true story. If you’re wondering why I just narrated it for you then don’t ask me, as I don’t have a clue. I was meant to talk about some of my new years resolutions actually, but there ya go! I guess that post will have to wait til next year now -_-
Who would even put a biscuit on a step man ?????? I just don’t get it.
Thanks for reading, if you liked any of that, even if it’s just the picture of the Digestive biscuit then Share, Comment and Followwww.………………… Innit.
p.s The lovely picture of the biscuit was from www.morguefile.com BIGUP